I have never been so afraid to be forgotten. I have never wanted to be needed more in my life. I have never wanted to see someone succeed this much. I have never been so afraid to mean nothing to someone. I have never been so irrationally sad to see someone leave. I have never missed someone this way. I have never ached to be teased about my stupid jokes. I have never pined for someone to make fun of me for being so short or so American or so small before. I have never considered moving to another country for someone else. I have never felt so messed up over a text at 4 am. I have never been so ready to tell someone that love is important, even if it’s not me. I have never been so happy that someone returned home to be with their loved ones when they were homesick. I have never wished that someone would think about me this hard. I have never felt sick being in places we frequented or hearing songs we sang before. I have never felt this heartbroken over someone never looking at me again. I have never welled with tears when someone said “come to the uk” after I said “I still owe you a drink” before.
What have I done?
This was supposed to be easy, fun and carefree.
It’s none of those.
I turn 25 on the 25th of this month.
I would just like to point out that I posted a Facebook status stating that I would enjoy walking home from work without getting hit on by 20 year old dudes, and was essentially told that I am wrong and should be flattered.
You’re right America! I AM an awful person for not being flattered that a group of shady youths are following me closely, saying crude things about me and making rude gestures! I am such a bitch for not thinking that’s SO AWESOME!
Of course I’m in the wrong here.